Scorched aware - Ted Loder

O God,

I look,

and find you looking back

in the eyes of lover, child, enemy, friend, stranger,

in the image in the mirror,

i can scarcely hold watch or long bear that light in eyes

that peering of the soul

your secret hidden in us like a glowing coal-

a haunting, frightening, fascinating brand of Eden,

burning bush, empty-tomb holiness

.

I look, and am scorched aware of how fragile

and how precious is everything I love,

everything I am, have, do, give

I look, and you look back,

and in the lurch and tumble of your fire, I glimpse again

your power to work miracles

by turning the few loaves and fishes of my gifts, and me,

into food for some other lonely ones,

.

your power to ignite to flame

my look, my stretch toward you

and so to inspire to life

other wide-eyed seekers such as I.

.

In the light of such miracles, O God,

let there be community, the welding of love and courage

in me, and as far as I can see.

.

.

Grant me nerve to dare the wonder,

willingness to hold watch, to walk in the light-

that fierce, tender, terrible beauty,

of your looking, your beckoning-

that ever being burned to death, and life, by your gaze,

I may be saved, and sent again, and spent

in the sacred seek toward those I can never be with wholly,

nor yet be whole without.

.

-ted loder

wrestling the light

I Praise You for What is Yet to Be

I Praise You for What is Yet to Be

Wondrous Worker of Wonders,

I praise you

not alone for what has been,

or for what is,

but for what is yet to be,

for you are gracious beyond all telling of it.

I praise you that out of the turbulence of my life

a kingdom is coming,

is being shaped even now

out of my slivers of loving, my bits of trusting, my sprigs of hoping,

my tootles of laughing, my drips of crying, my smidgens of worshipping;

that out of my songs and struggles,

out of my griefs and triumphs

I am gathered up and saved,

for you are gracious beyond all telling of it.

I praise you that you turn me loose

to go with you to the edge of now and maybe

to welcome the new, to see my possibilities, to accept my limits,

and yet begin living to the limit

of passion, and compassion

until, released by joy,

I uncurl to other people and to your kingdom coming,

for you are gracious beyond all telling of it.

-Ted Loder

Guerrillas of Grace