28 February 2011

Scorched aware - Ted Loder

O God,
I look,
and find you looking back
in the eyes of lover, child, enemy, friend, stranger,
in the image in the mirror,
i can scarcely hold watch or long bear that light in eyes
that peering of the soul
your secret hidden in us like a glowing coal-
a haunting, frightening, fascinating brand of Eden,
burning bush, empty-tomb holiness

I look, and am scorched aware of how fragile
and how precious is everything I love,
everything I am, have, do, give

I look, and you look back,

and in the lurch and tumble of your fire, I glimpse again

your power to work miracles

by turning the few loaves and fishes of my gifts, and me,

into food for some other lonely ones,
your power to ignite to flame
my look, my stretch toward you
and so to inspire to life
other wide-eyed seekers such as I.

In the light of such miracles, O God,
let there be community, the welding of love and courage
in me, and as far as I can see.
Grant me nerve to dare the wonder,
willingness to hold watch, to walk in the light-
that fierce, tender, terrible beauty,
of your looking, your beckoning-
that ever being burned to death, and life, by your gaze,
I may be saved, and sent again, and spent
in the sacred seek toward those I can never be with wholly,
nor yet be whole without.
-ted loder
wrestling the light

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